Day 4: Abominable (2006)

Abominable (2006)
Starring: Matt McCoy, Jeffrey Combs, Lance Henriksen, Ashley Hartman
Category: Foreign / weird
Plot Tags: B-Movie, monster, survival, not-so-good
Original release / release date: April, 2006
Format viewed: DVD
Directed & Written: Ryan Schifrin
Studio: Anchor Bay Entertainment

Well, you know they can't all be winners. I was drawn in by the great illustration on the cover and invested a whole $2 in this film. I am kind of a sucker for illustrated covers so I can blame that. I should've known that, considering it was Anchor Bay (generally DTV type stuff and generally not good) and considering it boasted 'includes unrated footage not seen on the Sci-Fi Channel showing!' it was not going to be great. But illustrated cover and creature feature aspects aside, it was kind of a silly mess.

Which is unfortunate because it boasted a cast of Matt McCoy (Police Academy, LA Confidential, 10 million TV shows), Jeffrey Combs (Re-Animator), Lance Henriksen (Aliens, Alien 3, Dog Day Afternoon, Close Encounters) and Ashley Hartman (the OC) -- ((okay, 3 out of 4 ain't bad)) which should equal some level of quality. But alas, you see everything coming well before it happens, the dialogue is stilted and the enjoyable ending is kind of ruined by what I can only imagine was an office assistant copying the last page of the script 2-3 times and them going with it. Repetitive for no damned reason. Kind of have to see it to understand what I mean but really, it's not worth it.

The story surrounds a guy, Preston (Matt McCoy) who is returning to a rental cabin in a small town near Suicide Rock (kid you not) for the first time after a rock climbing accident that killed his wife. His nurse/attendant guy is abnormally dismissive and mean/indifferent which is distracting because they don't explain why. It just sort of is. Hopes for a relaxed time are dashed as a group of women show up to celebrate one of their upcoming weddings (one of them, can't remember which, doesn't really matter) and get the cabin next to his. Not long after this, the Sasquatch shows up (after first terrorizing a farmer and his wife) and starts causing problems. Preston is confined to a wheelchair so as he spots the creature and realizes what is happening, he is able to do very little to warn the group of women who are picked off one by one. Meanwhile, there are three hunters in the forest (Lance Henriksen, Jeffrey Combs and a third guy, the bald headed dude from CSI: Miami) seemingly hunting for the monster. So the Sasquatch attacks hit a fevered pitch and we get our first real shot of the thing.

So, I'm a fan of practical effects. I love them over CGI nearly 100% of the time. However, a cool concept and details work do not a good creature make. This Sasquatch looks like a cross between James Hetfield of Metalica and Wilford Brimley. Just kind of made me giggle. He also seems intent on massacring everyone even though context clues note that they feed when they are hungry. The big guy must've been very hungry. So this silliness continues until only the 'final girl' is left with our hero. They try to concoct a plan to overpower the thing which nearly works but in what was one of the only creepy parts of the deal, the final girl is lowering herself off the balcony with the climbing gear left in the cabin (let's not split hairs, considering he was confined to a wheelchair and lost his wife because of a climbing accident, kind of seems like you'd send that climbing gear to Goodwill) with Preston on the ground counterbalancing. She is about halfway down with the big guy comes out, sees what is happening and starts to pull her up by the rope. Yeesh.

I guess I won't spoil the final confrontation with our heroes and the big guy and then the ending of the film itself, but sufficed to say, I was less than thrilled. On the one hand, if the proper tone was struck and the horror/humor tone was laid down really well, they could have ended it a la 'The Cottage' (great creature feature out of Britain) and it would have been classic. But as it stands, none of the great talents of Henriksen or Combs are used for beans and the ending kind of just sits there like warm flan. I can certainly appreciate the DIY spirit and a few of the death-by-Sasquatch scenes are pretty good but overall, just a goofy goofy mess.