Day 9: The Blob (1988)

The Blob (1988 - remake)
Starring: Kevin Dillon, Shawnee Smith, Donovan Leitch, Jeffrey DeMunn, Candy Clark, Joe Seneca
Category: Boxes that scared me as a kid
Plot Tags: thing from outer space, child(ren) in peril, monster
Original release: 2009 but actually 2012 (sort of)
Format viewed: DVD - rented from Vulcan, naturally
Directed by: Chuck Russell
Written by: Jack Harris, Frank Darabont
Distributed by: Tri-Star Pictures

So the 1957 version of The Blob (or the 3-4 other names it was known by) was a little silly but there was a singular focus of people versus the thing. In this 1988 version, a secondary horror is introduced that splits the focus between the creature itself and another menace for our heroes. I hate doing this but I think in order to talk about it, I'll have to lay out that part of it. Sorry.

So the film starts with a funny hobo sort of guy out in the woods doing hobo related things. A large meteor sails overhead and lands nearby. He goes to investigate and finds an encrusted thing with some goop bubbling and moving around just inside it. He pokes at it with a stick, the goop takes offense and latches onto the stick and then onto his arm. Thus starts the movie, zooming in on a football game complete with the jerk friend, the potentially decent friend, the cheerleaders etc etc complete with banter about dating girls and all the rest. We are then introduced to our hero, a wrong side of the tracks guy played by Kevin Dillon. More accurately by Kevin Dillon and his hair. Seriously, must see it to believe it. Anyway, my timeline here might be a little loose but all the parts are there. Dillon is confronted by the hobo guy in the process of trying to cut his hand off with the goop on it. The guy runs off and into the road where our potentially decent football player guy is on the date with the cheerleader (played by the Saw series' Shawnee Smith) are driving along (preceded by a really funny gag involving his jerk friend at the pharmacy buying condoms and confusion - very funny). They slam on the brakes, knock the hobo over and are confronted by Dillon's character. They decide to take him to the hospital. In the time it takes them to fill out forms, the hobo guy has been eaten in half by the goop and we lose another character.

I'm intentionally not saying what happens to who when because I found that to be a wonderful part of this film. They don't 100% play to expectation about order or fate and for that, I commend them. More often than not in the scary movie trade you can essentially look at a group of people and figure out who goes when. In 'The Blob' that isn't the case, so good on them.

From this point things just happen in a quick, frenzied way. We are introduced to people, the die. We think we've got it nailed for who does what when, and then the Blob comes and changes that plan. There are great scenes involving the jerk guy and his date out in the woods and their fate(s), the earnest sheriff, the cook at the diner and on from there. There was a decidedly 'tales from the darkside' feel about all of this, kind of one frenetic crazy thing after another. Guys in containment suits show up and start to corral all the townsfolk into one area and begin to pursue the creature. It becomes very quickly evident that they are not all in it for protecting people and are looking to weaponize the creature. A very great series of chase scenes in the sewers and woods add actual tension to the craziness which culminates with the final showdown with the creature. There is a classic classic scene in a movie theatre (which you've seen if you've gone to Alamo for an evening showing) which pays homage to the original along with people getting gotten in all manner of ways by the thing. As anyone knows, The Blob is no match for cold and they figure out a way to combat the monster and win the day.

Now, there is one injury (not death) that comes back around at the tail end of the film that I don't want to ruin. Not unlike the end of The Stuff, there is a darkly comic aspect to the ending(s) that is best enjoyed in the context of the movie itself. Not bleak like in The Omen but more kind of a nod to the EC comics of the 50s - that type of thing. Anyway, I found it amusing.

Overall, there is a good bit of grossness to the film with many people being eaten and attacked in a myriad of ways and a fair amount of tension in the sewers and alleys in the chase scenes but I wouldn't call it scary per se. It was fun and campy but again, I have to tease the young version of myself for being a scaredy-cat over it.